After I left I started thinking about a conversation my husband and I had months earlier.
It was while I was pregnant with our Bug and preparing for my maternity leave... or as I joked, my 'early retirement from the workforce'. He had asked me if I was going to miss my job.
I had to think about it. Would I miss my co-workers? Most definitely. Would I miss the actual work? Kind of.
I was good at my job. I think I was efficient, and I was appreciated. My job was varied and I enjoyed it. But could my boss and my lab operate without me? Yep. They certainly could (and are).
As much as I enjoyed what I did, it wasn't my passion. It wasn't what my heart longed to do. And I wasn't essential to the operation of the laboratory.
Being a mother to my girls (at the risk of sounding conceited): this I am really good at. But more than that, it is a job that I don't think anyone can do better than I can. No one knows my babies like I do. No one can love them the same way, anticipate their needs, or care for them like me.
I feel like I'm doing the most important job in the world. It's not an easy job. It's way harder and so much more demanding than any other 'job' I've had. And it certainly isn't full of very much praise or appreciation. But there is nothing else I would rather do.
I realize that being a stay-at-home mom isn't for everyone. Some women just don't feel called to it. And some might like to be at home all the time with their kids, but (whether for financial or various other reasons) simply can't.
I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home.
I left my job to pursue my passion: my family. My husband has always been so passionate about medicine. And I have always felt like (and been slightly jealous that) he is making such an impact in the world. He's making a real difference in people's lives.
And now I feel like I am too.
The lives of two little girls who need me very much.
Being a mother feels instinctual to me. I know what to do. I am confident in my skills. I am shaping two little people; teaching them the things they need to know and loving them with my whole heart.
This.
Motherhood.
This is what I was meant to do. This is what I feel called to do. This is what I want to do.
This is my dream job.
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| my current employers Bug - 6 weeks old Bean - 23 months old |
