one year

I know it’s a cliché.

Everyone says that time goes by too fast.

Everyone says they can’t believe it when their baby turns one.

But it’s true.

One year has flown by. I guess time has a tendency of doing that.

I still remember her birth day so vividly. The feeling of awe and overwhelming emotion when I held that brand new little person for the first time.

And now we are celebrating that day. The day you entered our lives. Little bean, I don’t know if you will ever know how much joy and happiness you bring your daddy and me.

It was so nice to be able to celebrate the bean’s birthday with family. 

Part of being a doctor’s wife means that we had to accept the location my hubby matched to for residency.

We got our second choice.

It’s a great second choice. But it means we live 20 hours away from our families (or a 2 hour plane ride). So it was very special that we could make the trip home and share our daughters 1^st birthday with family and friends.

I am so enjoying the little person that our bean is developing into. Her sense of humor, of wonder, and discovery. Her obvious delight in life. I can’t wait to see what the next year will bring. I just hope it doesn’t go by too fast.

Happy birthday to you my sweet girl. Your momma loves you so incredibly much.

Fact or Fiction: Doctor's wives lead glamorous, cushy lives

Ha.

This one gets me. I’ve seen it happen more than a few times.  Apparently being married to a doctor is a symbol of status.

“So, what does your husband do?”

“Oh, he’s a doctor”.

Then there is something that happens. I can see it behind their eyes. Stereotypes enter their head, most likely acquired by television dramas or Hollywood movies. And they form an opinion of me.

Sometimes it’s more light-hearted, like “nice catch!”. But the implications are there.

I must lead a privileged and glamorous life. After all, I’m married to a doctor. I must be “set” for life. After all, I married a doctor.

Well, let this be the second myth I debunk. My life is certainly not very glamorous or cushy. It’s actually quite ordinary. And I certainly didn’t marry my husband for the money. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t spend my days shopping for my Fall Wardrobe and attending Charity Teas while the nanny looks after the baby and the maid cleans the mansion. In actual fact, I work part-time, take care of the bean, clean our small house (when I have time) and never buy anything that’s not on sale.

Now let me be fair and say that our life-style will change one day, once my husband has completed residency (and fellowship?) and is actually hired as staff somewhere. Oh, and we pay off our debt. But we’re talking another 10 years here, people. And even then, I don’t expect to be a “kept” woman.

I’ve joked before with other doctor-spouses that we’re earning our PHT degree (that’s Putting Honey Through). Medical students, Residents, and Doctors work incredibly hard. But so do their spouses.

I'm not a trophy wife. I'm not an accessory.

I’m right alongside my hubby, supporting him in the best ways that I can, working hard to make this life of ours work.

welcome to my glamorous life...

Have something to say? Or another myth you want me to debunk? Please leave your comment below!

Fact or Fiction: Doctors are rich

*snort.

Sorry.

When my hubby and I started out on this journey, I was under this false impression too. Doctors drive fancy cars. They have big houses. They go on luxurious vacations. Little did I know what I was in for…

Let me start with a disclaimer: this blog post is not intended as a complaint, nor am I looking for pity. I’m just trying to tell it like it is, people.

Becoming a doctor is quite the expensive, trying process and I’m afraid I’m going to have to stop and explain a bit of it here. If that doesn’t interest you, please skip ahead.

A medical career begins in Undergrad. You have to get really good marks in all 4 years (like, really good) and take really hard Science courses (did I mention I majored in English?). And you should probably also volunteer somewhere (preferably medical) every year, and take interesting trips to other parts of the world. This looks good on your application.

Then you have to write the MCAT. It’s a little 8 hour exam that you have to study months in advance for. And you have to do really well (like, really really well).

Then you can apply to Medical schools. This is a laborious and fairly expensive process. If you’re lucky, you’ll get an interview (or 2 or 3). You then face a subjective panel of physicians, community members, and med students who decide if they think you should be accepted. If you do get in (some people, like my husband, have to complete a Master’s degree and apply again), you’re overjoyed, and relieved that the process is over. Think again.

Medical school is 4 years long in Canada (except for a few schools that don’t have summer breaks and git’er done in 3 years). In your second-last year you better start to figure out what you want to specialize in and start completing electives (across the country) and research projects in those specialties. This is the part no one told me. Getting into Medical school is just the beginning. You have to apply to match to a residency-training program. So even though you’re a Dr. after the 4 years, you can’t practice medicine until you complete your residency (used to be referred to as an internship).

This residency matching process is referred to as CARMS.

shudder.

The memories are still fresh.

In this process you apply to the programs that you want to match to. A residency training program is anywhere from 2-6 years long. A family medicine residency is 2. Most surgical residencies are 5.

If you get interviews (and you better hope you do), you have to fly to the different cities across the country to interview. Once your cross-Canada tour is over, you sit down and rank the programs from 1 to whatever. The program directors also sit down and rank everyone they interviewed, from 1 to whatever. Then a computer makes the best match. You log on in March and ta-da, find out where you’ll be for the next 2-6 years of your life.

What?

Yep, a computer makes the best match, and you are contractually bound to accept that match. For the next 2-6 years of your life.

Then there are fellowships, which can be completed after your residency to further specialize, but I think I’ve explained enough for now.

Let’s get back to the money.

Medical school for my hubby cost about $14,000 a year. And you certainly can’t work while you’re in Medical school. Hello, line-of-credit. Then you add all the crazy expensive and intimidating textbooks. Plus any medical tools (like stethoscopes and otoscopes), also not cheap.

Remember those electives and then the residency interviews he had to fly all over the country for? Also out of our pocket.

Then my hubby began residency. Surely the money would start rolling in now.

Or not.

If we calculate my husband’s wage, based on the number of hours he works, he makes about 15$/hour. I made $16/hour as a teenager, working as a lifeguard at the YMCA.

And when he’s on-call and works 13 hours through the night, saving lives? Here’s 110 buckeroos (about 8$/hour).

Needless to say, we have a crap-load of debt. An incredibly huge crap-load.

Now when he completes residency, finds a job (yet another, not-so-easy process), and starts working as a staff doctor, yes the pay is quite good. But we have many, many years of debt to pay off. 

I don’t see any fancy cars or big mansions in our near future…

Are you or your spouse in the medical profession? I’d love to hear your comments.

the very beginning

Hi. And welcome to my blog. I'm really glad you're here.

Seeing as this is my very first post (gulp), I thought I’d explain my reasons for starting a blog, and what you can expect to read about here.

Let me start by telling you a bit about myself (woah… flashback to awkward first days of school). I'll start by telling you that I’ve been with my husband since high school and we just celebrated our 7^th wedding anniversary.

He’s a doctor.

That’s part of the reason I started this blog. You see, I think there are a bunch of misconceptions and false impressions surrounding being a doctor, and more importantly (from my point of view) what it’s like to be a doctor’s wife. So maybe I can debunk some of those here. It’s been a long road so far and I really wish I’d started this blog when my hubby was in Med school. But better late than never, right?

I should probably clarify that my husband is a resident. For those of you that understand the difference, you’ll get this important distinction. Yep, he is a doctor. He has completed medical school and has an MD behind his name.

But he is still a resident.

He has 4 more years of specialty surgical training to do. I’ll explain this more in a future post!

I’m also a new(ish) mom. My baby girl is about to turn one and she lights up my life. So this blog will most likely feature some of the joys and challenges of raising a baby (while being married to a doctor  resident). It will be a way for me to look back and remember my thoughts and feelings at this stage in my life, and to share and gain advice from you!

And I’m a big foodie. I love food. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and really enjoy sharing and trying out new recipes. We’ve recently embarked on a new food adventure. More on that in another future post (I have to keep you intrigued, right?)

Lastly, I like to write. A long time ago I majored in English. I’ve read a lot of books and written my fair share of essays.

I have things to say.

And I’d like to share them with you.

nice to meet you!

    the bean, hubby and me

Note: I’ve thought long and hard about sharing my family’s life and mine with you. I wouldn’t say I’m an especially private person; but I’ve also never shared like this in a public arena. I’m going to reveal as much as I can. But there are some things I’ll do to protect the privacy of my family. I’ll refer to our daughter as “the bean”. It’s what we’ve called her since she was a little jumping bean on my 19-week ultrasound. And I’ll refer to my husband as “hubby” or “the doctor”. I hope that's okay with you.