a tale of two births: part II

read part I first!
and be forewarned: part II is even more detailed and lengthy than part I (probably because it's fresher in my mind)!

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Our little bug also arrived late.

9 days late.

Again I drove myself crazy by expecting to go into labour early. Or at least on time. Surely I deserved to deliver around my due date the second time around, right?

a tale of two births: part I

As I prepared for the birth of our second child, it occurred to me that I had yet to record the story of the birth of our first child. So before the two experiences got muddled in my head, I thought I would sit down to record what I remember. Well I didn't get very far and now our second baby girl has arrived and I really feel the need to record my memories of their arrivals before they fade even more.

If you're not into detailed birth stories, this post probably isn't for you...

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our new arrival

Well, if you're wondering why it's been so quiet over here, it's not because I don't have anything to say. It's just that I don't have any time to type it out!

Two and a half weeks ago, we welcomed our second baby girl into the world. Her birth story will follow (as soon as I have time to finish it), but here she is for now:

Welcome to the world little bug!

Born June 9th, 2012

8lbs 7oz

i want my mom

This week has been a bit of a tough one.

I'm just about 34 weeks pregnant and have started nesting like a madwoman. My house never seems to be clean enough or organized enough. We are in the middle of getting a 'big girl' room ready for the Bean, and nothing seems to be happening quickly enough for me.

The Doctor just had 5 days off over Easter and so we got the Bean's new room painted (twice, since we didn't like the first colour). Her 'big girl' bed and dresser arrived and the hubby put those together. the mattress is on the bed, sheets are washed and ready to go.

And still I panic.

I want everything done now. I want the shelves to be hung, the toy box to be built, the little details finished. I want the Bean to be transitioned into her new room, well before her sibling arrives to take over her current space.

Oh I realize that none of this matters. Really. The baby could arrive tomorrow (please don't) and we'd be "fine".

But I am still freaking out.

The Doctor is working on a big presentation that he has to give at grand rounds next week, and so I am trying to get as much (okay, everything) done without him. The Bean is of course trying to be "helpful" and so every task seems to take nine times as long as it should.

And all this unnecessary stressing makes me want my mom.

I lay in bed last night after an exhausting day of getting lots done, yet feeling as though nothing got done (my to-do list obviously over-ambitious) and I cried. Hubby asked me what was wrong and like a 5-year old, I blurted "I miss my mom".

I'll blame it on my hormones. Because I can.

You see, my mom is amazing. She is like a cross between Mike Holmes and Debbie Travis. If she were here, the Bean's room would be done. The shelves that I don't know how to hang would be up on the wall. The toy box that I will not attempt to put together on my own would now be built. My floors would be washed. She would confirm my wall decor choices.

And I would be calm.

Because my mom is a get-er-done kind of woman. I on the other hand, am a terrible self-motivator and tend to get overwhelmed when looking at my long list of things to accomplish. But I know if my mom was here she'd say "let's get this done" and we would.

It is (hormonal) times like these that I am reminded yet again that living so far away from your family sucks. In all honesty, it is not only my mom that I miss. Not only her that I want near me. I have a whole slew of talented and hard working family members that would be here in an instant if we lived close and I were to call them up and ask.

So for now, I'm trying to be patient. I'm waiting until after next Wednesday, when the Doctor will be finished his presentation. And then I have a rather large honey-do list for him.

And I'm going to visit my family. This weekend the Bean and I will take what is probably the last flight just the two of us, and spend four days with my mom and dad and sister. While nothing will be accomplished to help prepare for this baby, I know that just being with my mom and talking things through will help.

And hopefully, when I return home I'll be calmer and less stressed about what needs to get done.

But I'll still miss my mom.

me and my momma
february 2012

has anyone seen my resolve?

I don't know what happened.

When I first learned I was pregnant, I made a commitment to keep on my clean eating journey and eat the healthiest I could, for the benefit of my baby and for me.

Then week 6 hit. And the nausea. And the inability to eat anything.

Well, at least anything healthy.

For about 10 weeks I decided to let myself eat whatever sounded good (since there was so little that fell into that category). Unfortunately, this category contained things like chips and dip, wine gums, skittles, and white bread with kraft peanut butter.

I completely fell off the clean eating wagon.

Okay, it left town without me.

Now I'm at week 22 and it just dawned on me that my nausea is gone (has been since about week 16). I am able to eat most things again, but I haven't reverted my eating habits. I am still eating a silly amount of refined sugar.

This is puzzling to me. I do not believe in the theory of "I can eat whatever I want: I'm pregnant". Or "I'm eating for two". Yet, my actions would suggest otherwise. It would seem that I've misplaced my resolve at a time when nutritious eating should be most important.

Clean eating before pregnancy was easy. I felt wonderful. I lost all the extra weight I'd been carrying around. I had more energy. And I was committed to this way of eating. Once pregnancy really hit, my resolve seemingly flew out the window. I'm frustrated with myself. And so this week I've been trying to puzzle my way through why I let this happen. I know part of it is that my cravings (especially for sweets) are incredibly strong and it's difficult for me to ignore them.

Is it also because I know my body is going to change and get bigger anyways, so the push to stay trim has lessened? Maybe.

Is it because I had no energy and didn't notice the negative effect sugar was having on me again? Maybe.

Is it because maybe, just maybe, deep down I do think I can indulge myself since I am pregnant? Well, maybe.

One thing I do know: I don't feel as good as I used to. And I do know that consuming sugar and refined products is playing a part in this. Although I've only gained 8lbs so far, I am starting to see the effect of reintroducing these 'unclean' foods into my body.

And there is no excuse. I am capable of eating clean, no matter how delicious that other food may taste. I owe it to my body and my baby to eat the best way I know how.

So this is my public declaration people.

I may occasionally indulge myself in the odd treat. But I am back on the wagon.

just say "no"...

the first trimester is only fun the first time

I had heard that pregnancies can be wildly different, not only from woman to woman, but also from one pregnancy to the next (in the same woman). Quite honestly though, I expected this pregnancy to be very similar to my first.

Nope.

This pregnancy has been different in two major ways: physically and emotionally.

Now there are no outrageous physical changes, but this pregnancy is progressing quite differently from my first. When I was pregnant with the Bean, I didn't really start to show until around 18 weeks (and even then, it wasn't very obvious). This time around? Hello 9 weeks. You've heard of muscle memory? Apparently my abdominal muscles remember being stretched out. Okay, I could hide it until about 14 weeks, but this is vastly different from pregnancy #1. I remember that I couldn't wait to have a bump with my first pregnancy... this time when I started showing I was almost embarrassed because it was so early on.

This other physical difference has been the nausea. oh the nausea. I experienced virtually no nausea with my first pregnancy. Sure, I had some food aversions from weeks 6-9, but nothing major. This time around I got queasy around week 6 and felt like I didn't step off the boat until week 15. And food aversions? Oh there were plenty. Basically anything healthy (especially raw vegetables) was out. My clean eating diet went out the window. Anything that sounded good to me (and there wasn't much) I ate. This consisted mostly of items containing sugar.

Then I got a cold.

Let me just say that I haven't puked in about 10 years. I never throw up. I hate it. I'll do anything to avoid it. This cold came with a cough. I started coughing one morning. And promptly lost my breakfast. This happened on 3 occasions. I know, it could be worse. There are a lot of women who are sick every day for their entire pregnancies (or at least the first 4 months). So I'll count myself blessed that this is where it stopped. But it was awful. And reaffirmed how much I hate throwing up.

But I'd like to talk more about the emotional difference this pregnancy compared to last time. Because this is where I've noticed a real contrast.

The first time I was pregnant I remember the first trimester as being filled with excitement and anticipation. My husband and I had a secret that was ours to keep and dream about. We read pregnancy books and every week talked about what our baby was doing and developing. Everything was new and there was a kind of magic involved. Waiting until 14 weeks to tell people we were expecting a new addition to our family didn't seem like that long to wait.

This time around, that first trimester draaaaggged on and on. I felt more apprehension this time. I wouldn't say that I was worried, but I didn't feel that same sense of excitement as last time. This is probably partly due to the fact that I have recently had a few people close to me miscarry. The reality that not all pregnancies are viable was in the background of my brain. I also kept forgetting that I was pregnant (still sometimes do). With a 15 month old to chase around and the Doctor busy with residency, I just haven't had the time to dwell on what's happening inside my body like I did that first time. And it's not new. I know the changes that are going to take place and this time I found myself repeating "hurry up already"! Now don't get me wrong, the Doctor and I were (and are) both very excited to be pregnant again. But I couldn't wait to get past the awkward first trimester.

Because lets face it: the first trimester is awkward. You don't really look pregnant yet (maybe just bloated). You don't really want to tell people yet that you're expecting (at least I didn't) so you have no excuse to give for why you keep forgetting things, are falling asleep on your desk at work, are unable to eat vegetables, or why the smell of your co-worker's lunch causes you to leave the room.

Let's just say that I'm glad I'm through the first trimester; that we can now tell people our news. And that the nausea seems to have passed.

If you're going through your first pregnancy right now, enjoy every minute. Soak it up. It's just not the same the second time around.

12 weeks pregnant

And since this is a pregnancy related post, I though I'd mention an awesome Jules et Jim maternity wear give-away that is happening over at Elena's blog. If you're pregnant and like free stuff, check it out! (and check out her blog too... it's great)!

we're expanding!

So I guess it’s time to tell you the real reason it’s been so quiet around here for the past three months. The truth is, the doctor and I are adding to our family! We are anticipating that our newest addition will be joining us somewhere around the end of May.

Of course, we’re very excited, especially now that I’ve entered the 2^nd trimester and everything is starting to feel more real (or believable anyway). Our first baby, the Bean, is now 15 months old and doesn’t really understand yet what’s going on (okay, she has absolutely no clue), but she is being very sweet, giving my tummy kisses and has learned how to say “ba-bee” quite clearly.

So that’s our exciting news. You can probably expect to find more pregnancy related posts for the time being…. just as soon as I figure out where I put all my energy….