When I first learned I was pregnant, I made a commitment to keep on my clean eating journey and eat the healthiest I could, for the benefit of my baby and for me.
Then week 6 hit. And the nausea. And the inability to eat anything.
Well, at least anything healthy.
For about 10 weeks I decided to let myself eat whatever sounded good (since there was so little that fell into that category). Unfortunately, this category contained things like chips and dip, wine gums, skittles, and white bread with kraft peanut butter.
I completely fell off the clean eating wagon.
Okay, it left town without me.
Now I'm at week 22 and it just dawned on me that my nausea is gone (has been since about week 16). I am able to eat most things again, but I haven't reverted my eating habits. I am still eating a silly amount of refined sugar.
This is puzzling to me. I do not believe in the theory of "I can eat whatever I want: I'm pregnant". Or "I'm eating for two". Yet, my actions would suggest otherwise. It would seem that I've misplaced my resolve at a time when nutritious eating should be most important.
Clean eating before pregnancy was easy. I felt wonderful. I lost all the extra weight I'd been carrying around. I had more energy. And I was committed to this way of eating. Once pregnancy really hit, my resolve seemingly flew out the window. I'm frustrated with myself. And so this week I've been trying to puzzle my way through why I let this happen. I know part of it is that my cravings (especially for sweets) are incredibly strong and it's difficult for me to ignore them.
Is it also because I know my body is going to change and get bigger anyways, so the push to stay trim has lessened? Maybe.
Is it because I had no energy and didn't notice the negative effect sugar was having on me again? Maybe.
Is it because maybe, just maybe, deep down I do think I can indulge myself since I am pregnant? Well, maybe.
One thing I do know: I don't feel as good as I used to. And I do know that consuming sugar and refined products is playing a part in this. Although I've only gained 8lbs so far, I am starting to see the effect of reintroducing these 'unclean' foods into my body.
And there is no excuse. I am capable of eating clean, no matter how delicious that other food may taste. I owe it to my body and my baby to eat the best way I know how.
So this is my public declaration people.
I may occasionally indulge myself in the odd treat. But I am back on the wagon.
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| just say "no"... |
