I’m sorry. It’s been rather quiet around here lately, I know. The Doctor has been studying for the second part of his licensing exam, so I’ve been flying solo on the home and baby front.
Needless to say, I’ve had my hands full.
And I get lonely.
I’ll admit it.
I miss my hubby. My partner.
I somehow thought that residency would be less busy than medical school. Boy was I wrong.
Med school now seems like a sort of vacation in comparison. Summers off, classes starting at 8am, frequent afternoons off. Oh sure it was busy. Especially around exam time. But residency is double the busy.
I know, part of this probably has to do with the fact that we now have a bigger house to take care of, and a 13-month old running around. But my hubby starts work at 6:30am or earlier most days, and when he comes home at 6 or 7pm it doesn’t end. There is always more studying to be done. Cases to read about for the next day.
But I’m getting off topic. My reason for writing this post was to talk about romance. Now my hubby is a huge romantic. When we were dating he wrote me more songs than I can count. Letters and dates (planned by him) were also a frequent occurrence when we were dating and also in the early years of our marriage. It is so important to keep the romance alive.
This is easier said than done when married to a resident.
Life changes.
I've learned that it is so important to step back and regroup every once in a while; to re-prioritize our life. My hubby sometimes loses focus; he’ll be the first one to admit that. Planned date nights, when we go out without the bean and have time to just talk by ourselves without distractions are so wonderful. We don’t do them nearly enough.
But even more important is the day-to-day romance. The little things to let your spouse know you’re thinking about them. These are the hard ones to do because they take time and forethought. I started a little thing a few months back that I love.
Our shower door is glass. This means it is perfect for writing on with a dry erase marker. So I started leaving my hubby little notes before I went to bed (he usually gets ready for bed faster than I do and is out of the bathroom before me) and he would see them in the morning. And most times, when I got up, there would be a little note written back to me.
This may not seem like a big deal, but these notes brighten up my whole day. I start off my morning knowing that my hubby is thinking about me. Sure, I know he’s thinking of me during the day. But it’s nice to actually be told that he loves me and is thinking about me.
Residency is stressful and demanding. And I think it’s even more stressful if you don’t have a good support team at home. This is probably true of many jobs. I’ve taken it upon myself to pull my hubby out of his studying fog every once in a while and remind him that we’re in this together, and I need him too.
It’s too easy to just sit back and wait for the romance to happen (and you could be waiting a long time). Sometimes husbands need a gentle nudge.
